A tribute to my Mommy

Recently a friend of mine asked me what my dream job would be. My reply was “to be a stay at home Mother just like my Mommy”.

I can’t think of another job that could be more rewarding than raising my children. Being there for all of their firsts.  Attending their class trips. Having them come home to a hot lunch. Being their personal taxi driver and driving them to all of their activities.

No words or gifts will ever be enough to tell my Mommy thanks for all she has done and is still doing for my siblings and I.

After my brother was born, she quit her job to become a stay at home Mom.

She was always on the go driving us to our piano lessons, swimming lessons, basketball practices, art classes and gymnastic classes. 

She attended all of our school plays and graduations.

She read to us and taught us how to read.

 She helped us with our homework.

She baked for our school bake sales.

Every Summer she helped us learn our times tables.

We made plenty of trips to Ontario Place and the CNE during the Summer months.

Every time she went out, she always brought us back a treat or two (Mmm Muffins and McDonald’s apple pie were my favourite!).  

My Mommy wanted nothing more than to see us happy. She always had our best interests at heart. She always put our needs before her own. She always had our back no matter what. There’s nothing my Mommy wouldn’t have done for us. We were her world, her everything!

What are some of your fondest memories of your Mother?

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No more diapers

Wouldn’t it be nice if your baby was potty trained before their first birthday? Well, apparently that’s possible if you choose to Infant Potty Train your child (also known as Elimination Communication).  While this concept is mainly practiced in Asia and Africa, it is slowly becoming a trend in North America.

Infant Potty Training is when you introduce your baby to the toilet between birth and 3 months. Before doing so, it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with your baby’s "elimination " schedule (i.e. how long after eating/drinking before he/she poops or pees). This is a great way to form a bond with your baby because you’re always watching for signals for when your baby needs to go.

This method is great for parents who want to avoid the costs of diapers. Babies tend to go through 10 to 14 diapers (or more) a day. 

Parents won’t be able to eliminate diapers completely. They will be needed when your little one heads to bed or when you’re going out.

It is also a great way to avoid diaper rashes. If trained to pee and poop in a toilet at an early age, parents won’t have to worry about their baby getting rashes from sitting in their mess for an extended period of time.

Just because parents potty train their baby at an early age, they still need to be prepared for plenty of accidents. With them being so young and unable to communicate verbally, they're not always going to make it to the toilet. 

The key to success is to be patient with your little one. Potty training at such an early age could become very frustrating. Take a break and try again. Your hard work and dedication will eventually pay off.

Would you try Infant Potty Training with your baby?

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Younger Man, Older Woman Syndrome

Society seems to frown upon women who marry younger men (younger meaning that their husband is a minimum of ten years younger). We tend to assume that it’s always the woman who was the predator. That’s not always the case. 

Anytime a man in his 20’s approaches me, my first question to him is “do you know how old I am?” The response is always the same, “age is nothing but a number”.  

A lot of the times, these men are just looking for a Sugar Mama. They are probably still in school and living at home. They most likely don’t have a full time job and are still riding the TTC. My question to them is  “what are you bringing to the table?.................That’s what I thought, absolutely nothing!

I’ve asked some of these men what attracts them to older woman. The number one response is older woman are more mature compared to women their age. We all know that woman mature faster than men but that doesn’t mean run off and marry them.

There are two major concerns I raise when talking to these men:

1) Fertility

 If he's in his late 20’s/early 30’s and he marries a woman that's ten years older than him, he's not going to have the luxury of waiting 3-5 years to have children. His wife’s biological clock is probably ticking and she’s going to want to get pregnant within six months to a year.

2) Aging

Even though his older wife doesn't look her age, what happens when she starts to? He's either going to have to spend a whole lot of money on Botox or his eyes are going to start wandering.

My advice to these younger men is always the same: be patient and wait for someone who’s the same age or a few years younger. It could save you from a lifetime of regret and disappointment.

What are you views on men that pursue/marry older woman?

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Yes, I can cook!

I laugh every time someone asks me if I can cook. Of course I can cook! Who has money to eat out every day? Besides, I would eventually get sick and tired of restaurant food.

Mind you, cooking isn’t my favourite thing to do. I have to mentally prepare myself for this task. It’s a chore to me. 

I have no problem spending 24 hours in the kitchen baking but the thought of spending an hour cooking drives me nuts. That's why I started cooking in bulk – cooking enough meat that will last me for at least two weeks and freezing the rest. Lasagne, chili and meatballs are good meal choices for my cooking arrangement. They always last me more than a week.

Just so you know, I always cook a fresh meal for my dinner guests. I would never serve my family or friends two or three day old food. 

Sometime this year, I have to learn to cook my absolute favourite meal of all time – Rice n’ Peas  and Oxtail. 

Who knows, maybe I'll sign up for a cooking class just for the fun of it. 

What’s your favourite meal to cook?

What dish would you like to learn how to cook this year?

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Tick-Tock goes our Biological Clock

Most woman have dreams of having their own children. Oftentimes those dreams are put on hold for a variety of reasons. Some delay Motherhood because they want to climb the corporate ladder. Some have difficulty getting pregnant. Then there are those that got married later in life and some who are still waiting for Mr. Right.

This week I came across a story in the Toronto Star, “Giving birth at 56”. Tessa’s story is a typical 21^st century story – she got married, had three children, got divorced but still wanted to have a fourth child. With the help of In Vitro fertilization (IVF), a sperm and egg donor, she became pregnant and had a son.

I’m not hating on woman who decide to become mothers at age 40 and beyond but let’s take a look at the bigger picture. There are so many risks that you and your baby may face if you decide to get pregnant in your 40’s and 50's. Here are the most common concerns:

1 You may experience a harder time getting pregnant with your own eggs and will most likely have to pay for an egg donor

2 You raise the risk of having multiple miscarriages or having a child who ends up with a birth defect

3 Many end up having high blood pressure and gestational diabetes

4 Many give birth prematurely or end up having a baby with a low birth weight

5 When all your friends are making plans for retirement, you’ll be making plans to send your child off to University or College

Of course there are pros to having a child later on in life -  the main one being financially stable.

If you're able to have children before you turn 40, jump on the opportunity. If you're unable to get pregnant or waiting to get married, I suggest you start accepting your situation and start moving on. For those that are purposefully delaying getting pregnant, think of all the milestones you may miss if you decide to get pregnant in your 40's or 50's. 

What is your view on those that decide to have children in their 40’s and beyond?

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Baking is my Therapy

There was nothing like heading to Bulk Barn after a stressful day to buy a bagful of candy. It was my quick fix.  It helped calm my nerves. It put a smile on my face.

Since the start of my year long candy fast, I’ve had to find an alternative.  I found it. When I’m stressed, I turn off my phone, put on some old clothes, blast my music and head to the kitchen to bake. There’s nothing like it.

I know that baking won’t solve my problems but just for a few hours I can forget about them and spend time doing what I love the most.

During these times, I end up baking too much that I have to give half of my baked goods away  - unless it’s my Lemon Poppy Seed cake. That’s too good to share!

If you ever call and I don’t return it, no need to worry. I’m probably in the kitchen, singing my heart out and baking.

What’s your stress reliever? 

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Imaginary Friends

“Memoirs of an imaginary friend” by Matthew Dicks is one of my new favourite books. It’s narrated by Max Delaney’s imaginary friend, Budo.

The farther I got into the book, the more I started to think of Budo as a real person.  He could talk and walk. He had feelings. He knew the difference between right and wrong. He had friends who were also imaginary.

After finishing the book,  I got jealous because I don’t recall having an imaginary friend while growing up. 

I do remember setting up my stuffed animals and playing “school” every afternoon after watching Sesame Street when I was either 4 and/or 5 years old.

I also remember being scared of the “imaginary ghost” that hid under my bed at night. I was afraid to use the washroom at night because I feared that he would capture me and hurt me. I must have told my parents because they eventually got me a night light to help calm my fears. It did and the “imaginary ghost” disappeared.

I decided to do some research on this topic and here’s what I found:

1 - Children who create imaginary friends are better communicators.  They are very creative and have excellent social skills.

2 - Children who have imaginary friends are either firstborns or an only child.

3 - Children tend to create their imaginary friends between the ages of 3 and 5. They will usually disappear once a child starts school.

4 - Imaginary friends tend to be stuffed animals, an invisible person/object or a
      fantasy creature.

5 - Imaginary friends can be a great comfort to a child when going through a traumatic experience (i.e. divorce, death, a move or birth of a sibling).

Kudos to Matthew Dicks for touching on a subject that many of us wouldn't think twice about. My views on imaginary friends will never be the same. 

"Every imaginary friend can touch the world of human persons."

Did you have an imaginary friend growing up?

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My Happiness Project - Health & Fitness

Last month I started My Happiness Project journey. My January resolution was Spirituality: to spend more time with God through prayer, daily Bible reading and scripture memorization. I started off strong and started falling off mid month. It’s a new month and I’m ready to try again.

This month’s focus is on Health & Fitness: to maintain a healthy weight and diet by exercising and eating right. Last week I started my P90X workout. I’m also going to be doing the 30 day Squat Challenge. Time to get this body Summer ready!

I'm finally going to put my sewing machine to work this month by signing up for sewing classes. It's time to start making my own clothes since stores don't make clothes to fit the shape of a Black Woman. This is the perfect skill to learn just in time for Summer.

Guess what? I survived 34 days without candy! This candy fast hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Read My Candy Addiction for the full story.

What goals/resolutions have you made for this month?

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