Earning points to get ungrounded

I came across this a couple of weeks ago:

The first thing that came to mind was the Monopoly card that reads: “Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200”. That’s how I feel this Mother is dealing with disciplining her children. If they don’t receive 500 points by doing the chores listed above, they won’t get “ungrounded”. (For the full story, click here).

How is this an effective form of discipline?

 Growing up, chores were something my siblings and I did on a daily basis. My chores included washing the dishes every other night, cleaning the washroom, vacuuming and dusting on Saturdays. As I got older, I did laundry and helped cook. These are things that every child should know how to do. Chores shouldn’t be used as a form of punishment.

You would have never caught my parents putting together something like this as a form of punishment. If you come from a West Indian home, there was only one form of discipline and I’ll leave it at that.

Living in a society where children are obsessed with technology, I now hear of parents taking away cell phones and tablets as a form of punishment. Then there’s the traditional time-out for toddlers or getting spanked with the wooden spoon.

At the end of the day, parents have to do what works for them and their children. If this method works for this family and the children learn their lesson, then kudos to their Mom.

What are your thoughts on this Mothers method of punishment?

What form of discipline did your parents use when you were growing up?

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Thanks for reading and keep smiling :)

Money Talk

“Don’t hold your bucket where your hand can’t reach”.

This is a saying that my late Grandmother passed on to her children and one that my Dad passed on to me.

What does it really mean? To me it means don’t purchase things you can’t afford.

Sounds like an easy concept but can be hard to follow if someone doesn’t take the time to teach you about the value of money.

I was never given an allowance as a child. Anytime I needed or wanted something, I always asked my parents for money. Sometimes they would fork it over and sometimes they didn’t.

I got my first job when I was 16.  What a relief that was. I spent my money how I wanted without being asked any questions.

Once I started College, I signed up for 2-3 credit cards. When my Mom found out, the only thing she told me was to make sure I had enough money to pay off the balance at the end of the month.

I promised I would but soon feel into the trap of maxing out all of my credit cards because I viewed it as “free money”.

I spent all of my 20’s and early 30’s in debt. I believe this could have been avoided if my parents had taken the time to teach me about money. 

This is something that every parent should teach their child. It’s definitely something I plan on doing.

Starting a conversation about money doesn’t have to be hard. Take your child on a trip to the bank. Open up a savings account for them. Take them to the store to help purchase groceries. Play a game of Monopoly. Give your child an allowance.

Most importantly, parents need to teach children the difference between needs vs. wants.

When a child receives money – whether it’s from an allowance or receiving birthday money - I believe it should be divided into three categories. If you attend church like me, 10% should automatically be set aside for tithes, another 10% set aside for savings and the remainder set aside for spending. 

Even if parents teach their children about money at an early age, it’s no guarantee they will continue with these habits but it’s definitely worth the try.

While I don’t blame my parents for my financial mistakes, I do believe that if they had taken the time to teach me about money when I was younger, I would have been better off financially today.

Did your parents talk to you about money? If so, what lessons did you take from those conversations?

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When you get a chance, please visit my friend Tyrone’s blog. His posts are insightful and very thought provoking. See his blog here.

Thanks for reading and keep smiling :) 

Hands off...He's married!

He tells you that he loves you.

He wines and dines you.

He promises you the world you’ve always dreamed of.

There’s only one problem – he’s married.

He says that he doesn’t love his wife anymore. The only reason he’s still in his marriage is for the sake of his children. He keeps promising that he’s going to leave her for you.

Six months pass. Nine months pass. One year passes and he’s still married.

I don’t know if I should feel sympathetic or disgusted with women who date married men.

On second thought…I’m disgusted. What’s wrong with these women? They deserve to be #1 in their Man’s life – not number 5, 6 or 7 next to his wife and kids.

I know of too many women who have gone down this path and ended up with their hearts broken.

Ladies, never put your life on hold for a married man. He’s NEVER going to leave his wife and kids for you.

Real men don’t disrespect their wives by having an affair.

You know what they say, “once a cheater, always a cheater”.

Remember, the wife always wins in these types of situations and the mistress is always the loser.

Do yourself a favour – find yourself a nice single man. You deserve to be the only woman in his life. You deserve the best because you’re worth it!

Why do you think woman continue to fall for married men?

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When you get a chance, please visit my friend Tyrone’s blog. His posts are insightful and very thought provoking. See his blog here.

Thanks for reading and keep smiling :)

Where are the neighbourhood kids?

Growing up, my parents had to constantly turn away young boys who came knocking on our door to shovel the snow or rake the leaves.

Every Summer, someone on our street was always selling lemonade.

When I was old enough, I used to babysit a couple of kids on my street.

Our neighbourhood was full of children competing against each other to make an extra buck. 

Today, that’s unheard of.

What happened?

 Is it that parents give their children too much of an allowance? Or maybe children don’t see the need to work because their parents hand them everything on a silver platter. Or it could be that parents hire others to do what they could have their children do for free.

In the nine and a half years that I’ve lived in Ajax, I’ve come across two children who were serious about making some extra money.

The first was a four or five year old girl on my street. As I was coming home one afternoon, I noticed that this little girl had a lemonade stand and a sweet table set up on her parents drive way. I went over and bought some lemonade. I don’t recall what she was saving for or if she was just doing this for fun.

This weekend, a young boy was passing my house with a weed remover looking for work. I hired him to pluck up those annoying dandelions on my front lawn. He worked for about half an hour and walked away with $15.

I am extremely proud of these two children for taking the initiative to earn some pocket money. They are definitely entrepreneurs in the making. Who knows, maybe their peers will soon follow in their footsteps.

Children need to be taught from an early age that they need to work for what they want. I’m so thankful that my parents never gave my siblings and I everything we asked for. They taught us to work for what we wanted and how to save for what we wanted.  

What did you do as a kid to earn some extra money?

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When you get a chance, please visit my friend Tyrone’s blog. His posts are insightful and very thought provoking. See his blog here.

Thanks for reading and keep smiling :)   

Gender Neutral Parenting

Boys play with trucks and girls play with dolls. Boys wear blue and girls wear pink. This is how it’s always been until Gender Neutral Parenting came into the picture.

Gender Neutral Parenting (GNP) is when parents raise their son or daughter in an environment that eliminates traditional gender roles. These children are usually given gender neutral names. Parents encourage their child to play with boys and girls toys. Their child’s room décor is gender neutral. The clothes they wear are gender neutral.

One Toronto couple went as far as not disclosing the sex of their child, Storm,  to family and friends (click here for the May 2011 article and here for the November 2013 article).

Today I read an article in the Toronto Star about how Sweden has come up with a gender netural pronoun for boys and girls - “hen”. This has replaced the male pronoun “han” and the female pronoun “hon”.  

Then there’s this video about a couple who raises their son neither as a boy or girl.

I fear for children that grow up in a gender neutral home and how confused they may become. It's almost as if these parents can't accept the sex of their child. 

When it comes to clothing, I believe that parents should dress their child according to their gender. No one should have to guess the sex of the child. 

Toys are a different story. I don't see anything wrong with boys playing with dolls or girls playing with action figures. 

Instead of parents raising gender neutral children, they should be teaching them about gender equality.

Girls should be raised to believe that even though there's more male Police Officers in society, it's okay for them to pursue that career path. If a boy wants to become a Nurse, parents should encourage him to follow his dreams. 

The last thing our society needs are more children who are confused about their identity. God didn't make a mistake when He created your son or daughter so please raise them accordingly.

What are your thoughts on Gender Neutral Parenting? Is this a parenting style you would consider?

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When you get a chance, please visit my friend Tyrone’s blog. His posts are insightful and very thought provoking. See his blog here.

Thanks for reading and keep smiling :)   

Household Chores

My blood boils every time I hear husbands and wives complain about household chores. Husbands refuse to clean. Wives refuse to mow the lawn. Taking out the garbage is supposedly a “man’s job” and doing laundry is supposedly a “woman’s job”. Why are we still classifying household chores based on gender? The last time I checked it was 2015 – not 1950.

Gone are the days when women stayed at home to raise a family and maintain a home. With both parents working, both parties should be pitching in to do household chores.

Household chores should be discussed prior to getting married to avoid disappointment later on.

Parents should be teaching their children to be well rounded and self sufficient human beings. Mothers should be raising their sons to be able to cook, clean and how to hem their pants. Father’s should be raising their daughters to mow the lawn, pick weeds and how to change a tire.

Can you imagine if parents did this? Children wouldn’t think of certain household chores as a “man’s job” or a “woman’s job”. They would view it as a job that just needs to get done.

It’s time to throw away this backwards way of thinking where household chores are concerned and start working together as a team to get them done.

Do you believe that certain household chores should only be done by a man and a woman?

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren't real?

Why do parents think it’s ok to lie to their children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy? They teach them that lying is wrong but they do it themselves. That’s kind of hypocritical, don’t you think?

There’s nothing wrong with telling them about these fictional characters. There’s nothing wrong with taking them to the Santa Claus parade or the Easter parade. Just as long as they walk away knowing that the man in the red suit and the person wearing those big floppy ears aren’t real.

I was 10 when I found out that Santa Claus wasn’t real. One of my classmates and I argued back and forth until they started laughing at me. I went home that afternoon and confronted my Mom about it. That’s when she finally told me the truth. Santa Claus didn’t climb down the chimney on Christmas Eve to deliver presents to me or my siblings. All those presents that were marked “From Santa” were really from my Mom and Dad. I was crushed. For 10 years, my Mom thought it was ok to lie to me.

I never believed in the Easter Bunny. The thought of Easter bunnies laying chocolate eggs seemed ridiculous.

I don’t remember when I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. It was definitely before I was ten. Back in the 80’s, we only received 25 cents for losing a tooth. Today, some of my students tell me they receive $5, $10 or even $20!

After the Santa Claus incident, I vowed to never lie to my children about these fictional characters. So what if I’m taking the fun out of their childhood? The last thing I want is to see that look of disappointment on their faces when I tell them that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny aren’t real. I don’t want to see them cry and call me a liar.

If you teach your children not to lie, I suggest you start practicing what you preach. Telling them the truth about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy could save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

Did your parents lead you to believe that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were real?

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A tribute to my Mommy

Recently a friend of mine asked me what my dream job would be. My reply was “to be a stay at home Mother just like my Mommy”.

I can’t think of another job that could be more rewarding than raising my children. Being there for all of their firsts.  Attending their class trips. Having them come home to a hot lunch. Being their personal taxi driver and driving them to all of their activities.

No words or gifts will ever be enough to tell my Mommy thanks for all she has done and is still doing for my siblings and I.

After my brother was born, she quit her job to become a stay at home Mom.

She was always on the go driving us to our piano lessons, swimming lessons, basketball practices, art classes and gymnastic classes. 

She attended all of our school plays and graduations.

She read to us and taught us how to read.

 She helped us with our homework.

She baked for our school bake sales.

Every Summer she helped us learn our times tables.

We made plenty of trips to Ontario Place and the CNE during the Summer months.

Every time she went out, she always brought us back a treat or two (Mmm Muffins and McDonald’s apple pie were my favourite!).  

My Mommy wanted nothing more than to see us happy. She always had our best interests at heart. She always put our needs before her own. She always had our back no matter what. There’s nothing my Mommy wouldn’t have done for us. We were her world, her everything!

What are some of your fondest memories of your Mother?

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Thanks for reading and keep smiling :)